september 18, 2019

i remember

it starts with the pit of my stomach bubbling

boiling from the heat of the fire you lit inside my home
all I can see is the screen of my phone going bright. then dark.
lit, then dark.
lit. dark.

it trembles beside my bed as much as my fingertips do
I turn the screeching ringtone down

the fire has ceased along with my ability to move
I can still hear you call for me
but it's muffled by the sound of Aly & AJ's Insomniatic CD
that fucking CD

the cold sets in as the blood rushes from the webbing of my veins
it pools in my mouth and creates a bittersweet taste that reminds me over and over and over again that you will never be allowed near it like you once were
consuming it like you once were
controlling it like you once did
the fire has been flooded
and I am left to drown in the unbearable freedom of solitude